Evolving with Authenticity
Supportive Traits
Supportive traits are like great personal assistants that help us navigate through life’s challenges more smoothly. From handling day-to-day responsibilities to tackling complex issues, we often and consciously rely on these trusted aides—our supportive traits—knowing that they are capable and reliable at what they do. Ultimately, living in the absence of our supportive traits is akin to losing both our arms; we would struggle tremendously to function without them.
Your habits shape your identity,
and your identity shapes your habits.
James Clear
As our supportive traits come naturally to us, we tend to employ them effortlessly, as if we are writing and drawing with our dominant hand. Therefore, we often take our supportive traits for granted, not realizing how valuable they are to someone of a different archetype. If left unchecked, we might even run the risk of overusing them, preventing other parts of ourselves from flourishing.
Like our dominant traits, our supportive traits are simply facets of our personalities. Whether they are strengths or weaknesses is entirely dependent on the way we utilize them. If we cultivate and develop our supportive traits well, they can become valuable additions to our toolbox of super strengths. However, if we use them in an unhealthy manner, the same traits will ultimately lead to our undoing.
A ship sails only when there is a navigator; otherwise it is merely adrift at sea. To Perfectionists, their values are the navigator that gives them directions in life. Thus, they strive to build a solid moral compass by reflecting on matters that are close to their hearts. Through deep contemplations, they are able to refine their values to uncover what they truly care for. As a result, Perfectionists often have unyielding convictions that guide them through the turbulent waves of life.
That said, although these values may serve Perfectionists well, they do not necessarily serve others. Perfectionists often spend too much time thinking about what they want, rarely considering what others need. As such, the things that they cherish might not bring any benefit to those around them. Unless Perfectionists align their values to what the world needs, their convictions, put crudely, are just selfish desires.
If taken too far, their devotions may turn into addictions. Like fanatics, Perfectionists might become so obsessed with their passions to a point of self-detriment. Such Perfectionists will only do the things that they want to, tossing crucial matters aside simply because they do not enjoy them. As a result of this, other areas of their lives will begin to go downhill. Ironically, the values that were meant to serve Perfectionists may wind up ruining them instead.
At their best, Perfectionists aren't afraid to be themselves. They are comfortable in their own skin, free of the need to conform to others. Genuine and sincere, they act based on what they believe to be right, even if it means going against the majority at times. It might feel scary, but Perfectionists would rather be afraid than pretend to be someone they are not. After all, their courage to stay true to themselves is what makes Perfectionists shine the brightest among the crowd.
However, when Perfectionists are overly concerned with their own individuality, they become negligent of everyone else. They act as though the world revolves around them, making decisions that cater only to their own wants and needs. Oblivious of everyone else, some may not even care if their actions inconvenience others. As such, Perfectionists may often come off as selfish and egoistic, even though that was not their intention.
Worst yet, some Perfectionists may end up using their identity as an excuse to defend their awful behavior. When criticized, they might try to cover up their flaws by claiming that they are just being themselves and therefore cannot help it. Instead of acknowledging their mistakes, they point the gun at others and blame everyone else for not accepting their flaws. Little by little, people will eventually grow sick of their cover-ups and leave Perfectionists to their own demise.
When convictions are put to the test, Perfectionists are those who will stay true to their beliefs. They are defined by their ideals and no threat can ever force them to compromise. To forgo what they stand for is to succumb to corruption and to betray their own integrity. With such intense convictions, it is no surprise that Perfectionists cultivate their beliefs carefully, forging ones that will always ring true to their hearts.
Unfortunately, there are times where Perfectionists cling so tightly to their own perception that they become deaf to reason. When people question their beliefs, they might blindly insist that it is the right thing to do. If that isn't bad enough, they may end up taking those inquiries as a personal attack, becoming overly sensitive to every word that comes their way. At that rate, it would be pointless to argue with such Perfectionists, as they listen to nobody but themselves.
Placing their beliefs on a pedestal, Perfectionists may beat themselves up whenever they fail to uphold their ideals. They expect every single action they take to align with what they stand for, refusing to forgive themselves for any slip-ups. Laden with these impossible standards, such Perfectionists will criticize themselves over the slightest shortcomings, pushing themselves into a cycle of self-loathing.
Thus far, we have explored both the Perfectionist's dominant and supportive traits. In our jargon, these traits are known as one's heroic traits. Think about it, don't we all look like heroes when we put these traits to use? Not just wannabe heroes, but real ones—those who are truly powerful yet unimpressed with their own abilities.
Superhuman strength and the ability to fly are awesome superpowers that we all wished we had. But Superman doesn't pride himself in any of those abilities. To him, using those powers to save the world is just another day on the job. Similarly, even though we are great at our dominant and supportive traits, we do not find them the least bit amazing. From our perspective, there is nothing special about these mundane things that we do every day.
That said, as heroic as our traits may seem, no hero in the world is perfect. Even the most powerful heroes, such as Naruto, Thor, or Wonder Woman, have their own flaws and weaknesses. However, that does not invalidate them as heroes; it only makes them all the more admirable. The same goes for our own heroic traits. They may not be perfect, but our strive to improve them is what sets us apart.
I am not a hero. I just did what any
decent person would have done.
Miep Gies
When our heroic traits bask in the light, they will inevitably cast shadows—traits that we tend to neglect. Our shadows are foreign to us, as they are the complete opposite of our natural traits. Because we fear what we don't understand, most of us will subconsciously push away or suppress these parts of ourselves. Unfortunately, if we allow the fear of failure to overpower our minds, these suppressed shadows will eventually swallow us whole.
Nevertheless, shadows are not our weaknesses. They are simply parts of ourselves that we are unfamiliar with, and therefore, would rather avoid. But if we harness our shadows, they will eventually become our hidden strengths. It may be daunting at first to explore these dark and unknown parts of ourselves. However, with a curious mind and a compassionate heart, there's nothing to be afraid of. With that said, let us venture deep into the shadows within us.
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Shadows Within [Perfectionist]